Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
