So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
