Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
