it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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