he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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