Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize