Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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