I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
