the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
