you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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