where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
