You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
