I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
