Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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