I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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