Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
