Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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