next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
How external is "for external use only"?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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