he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
