bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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