# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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