you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
