Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
