As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
