I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
