Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize