Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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