There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
