Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You can't just leave with hair like that
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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