"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
