ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
