I heard we made out
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
