it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
