whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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