Sry I called you an 8
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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