Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
