well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
