ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
