TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We are two peas in an std pod
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
