Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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