Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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