I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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