I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
this will be a night to untag.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
