i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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