Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
