it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
