yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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