Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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