I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you never un-have a 4some
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
