God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love how my cats smell like pot.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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