SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
