Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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