I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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