On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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