so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
