White coat. Heels.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she pinky promised me she was 18
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You dont lie about slip and slides
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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