Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
