I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
