I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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