so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
