First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
