hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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