i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just had sex on a roof
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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