watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
