He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
