first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
